Some children want to play the same game over and over again in a controlling, repetitive way. At the same time, they want to include you in the game, but only according to their rules.
Sounds familiar?
It could be a bowling game, storytelling, building a tower, finishing a puzzle or watching the same video over and over again.
The next time you find yourself in such a situation, try the Kitchen Timer. Tell your child that you will be more than happy to play his/her game for the next 20 minutes. (Of course, it could be 5 minutes or 45 minutes, depending on the child.)
Show the child the kitchen timer and set it to a reasonable time in which the child can play to his/her hearts delight. Then explain: “When the time goes off, it is Mommy’s/Daddy’s turn”.
Choose a variation of the child’s game or introduce an activity of your choosing, ideally related to the child’s game. Later on, you can offer completely different activities. Set the timer to perhaps 3-4 minutes. When the timer goes off, it is the child’s turn again.
It is totally ok if the child at first does not participate. The goal here is for the child to understand, that people can also come up with exiting and interesting activities which could be very motivating to the child.
Then repeat as many times as the child allows and gradually try to expand the time when it comes to your turn. Should the child interact with your game, remember to celebrate big time on how happy and excited you are that your child played with you and your game even if only for a few moments.
Remember the fun is in the trying. If your happiness does not depend on the outcome, you are in a very good place. Your child will feel no pressure and will love you for it.
